Entry
by Let my dragons roar
Summary: Writing down your emotions can be quite helpful when dealing with a sudden lose. Modern!AU. HTTYD-verse. Please read and review OvO.
1. June 2nd

_**Sunday, June, 2**__**nd**__**.**_

_My therapist told me to start a journal because I have, and I quote, 'unresolved issues'. I think she's just tired of me not opening up, I don't blame her though, we've already had 3 sessions and I've done very little talking. Besides the sarcastic comments, she says their my defense mechanism – Obviously._

_I think she wants to read this later on, so she doesn't have to wait for me to open up. If that is her intention, i guess I don't have to bother opening up._

_So I guess I should start huh? Okay:_

_My dad hasn't been around lately, I think he's sorting things out with the house and the whole leg situation. He said he would get me the best prosthetic built, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to learn to walk again: Losing your leg is quite exhausting._

_Gobber has been seeing me a lot lately though, he often comes to the hospital with bag of greasy fast food. He manage to sneak in some burgers and fries yesterday and we had lunch, but I was sort of woozy on painkillers, so sadly I don't remember what we talked about._

_Astrid is taking care of Toothless for me, I just think she's feeling sorry for what happened. It wasn't her fault, but she says she should have done something but I don't think she could have. She likes to take pictures of Toothless and Stormfly together and send them to me when she gets out of school, so at least I know he's okay: I'm still surprise the useless cat hasn't eaten the damn bird yet!_

_Snotlout came to visit me too, a few days again I think, with his dad. Spitelout stood near the door and Snotlout just sat in the chair by my bed and stared at the empty space where my leg was. Thankfully I was in a lot of pain that day, so they upped my morphine and I was barely awake so I hardly noticed the awkward tension. Snotlout feels guilty I bet, I'm not too sure why though, he wasn't there until they put out the fire, but by then I was already on my way to hospital. I think he's guilty about the whole 'calling me useless' thing._

_Speaking of the fire, Gobber mentioned that it disturbed most of the house, including my room, but I thought that was obvious. Anyways, I asked him if there was anything to salvage and he made mentioned that he found a couple of my books, Toothless' cat toy, and a picture of mom, but that was it. I was pretty down about that, but I guess I should be lucky that I didn't, you know, die and all._

_I'm getting a little tired from the morphine so I think I'll end this now before I say something regrettable in my half-drugged state._

_-Hiccup._

**I was a little bored so I just wrote this up, I'm trying to get myself back into my writing so I might put another part, I dunno. Lol.**

**~LMDR**


	2. June 6th

_**June 6th**__**,**_

_Dad came back this morning, but he looked pretty terrible. He told me he's having problems with insurance and work, but then he apologized and hugged me. I guess he felt pretty guilty about not visiting me too often. Gobber came in halfway through dad's visit and I was pretty grateful because I didn't really feel like talking about my stump-leg while my dad tried not to tear up. Gobber brought over some pizza and dad got a little mad because I should be eating the food gives to me. He was so distracted by scolding Gobber he didn't notice me eating the pizza until I finished my second slice._

_Hospital food is terrible._

_Gobber asked me how I was feeling and I could honestly say I'm okay. I think it's weird how well I'm taking this whole leg thing. I mean I got pretty upset about it when I woke up, all I wanted to do was go back home and never leave my room. But now I think I'm okay, at least I think so._

_Dad gave in after a while about the whole pizza thing and then sat down by my bed side, and Gobber sat on my opposite side. Me and him eat pizza while dad fussed over me. It was quite nice actually, being together, like a weird makeshift family_

_Gobber had to leave after an a while because of some work down at the shop so it was just me and dad for a while, watching TV and talking about normal things and advoiding the important things. My Doctor came in later on to check my burns. I had almost forgotten about the ones on my face since I didn't have a mirror on hand, but I wasn't too worried since I only have a few moderate size ones on my cheeks and forehead. Apparently they're healing good, but I would probably not have any scar tissue. Dad seemed relived, because more than one horrible reminder of what happened would be too much._

_Dad left when his insurance called and I could hear him yelling at his phone as he made his way down the hallway. I'm glad dad left to be honest because that's when the nurse came in to help me bathe, and I would have died right there and then if dad stayed._

**I wrote up another part cause why not ouo**

**Thank you to Guest and One Bright Light ^^**


	3. June 9th

_**June 9**__**th,**_

_Astrid came over today with her school bag and sport bag and had a huge smile on her face. I was kinda groggy when she walked in, a nurse (who I guessed was new) had just come in and checked my leg but accidentally tugged on some of my stitches so they drugged me up to ease the arching, so I didn't know why she looked so excited, but then she told me what day it was and i knew why she was so bubbly. It was the last day of school._

_I always sort of liked the very last day of school because we didn't actually do anything educational, everyone was always in a happy mood. Astrid and Fishlegs would often hang out with me in the lessons we shared, so I was a little disappointed I didn't get to join in with the last day of school excitement._

_Astrid dumped all of her things on the floor and curled up on the chair next to me and grinned and told me all about what happened in school. Apparently the Twins did something to Snotlout and almost had their necks snapped and Fishlegs did something clumsy that made everyone laugh during lunch. I just laid there pretending like I was listening. Morphine can really scatter your mind._

_I paid attention when she started asking me questions; at first it was what I did that morning, but she winced when she realized I couldn't even leave my bed. She then asked me how I was feeling and if I was okay and stuff like that. I shrugged and told her I was fine, since I was hardly ever sober most of the time. She gave a little laugh but it didn't sound genuine. We sat in silence for a while, see kept staring at me and I was glancing at the TV in the top corner of my room where the news was playing._

"_Local news has been talking about you" I was taken aback by that._

_Apparently they were, or had; after the fire local news had been playing shaky youtube videos and pictures as they talked about 'The major and his son'. They even had pictures of me, and talked about my stump leg. I was a pity case apparently. I laughed – the entire situation was so odd to my unclear mind._

_Astrid overlooked it and turned the channel of the television to some cartoons and we watched it together in a comfortable silence. When a nurse came in with a tray Astrid moves onto my bed and she picks at my dinner, curious about what it tasted like. She gives a chocolate bar that she was given by one of her teachers when she and I eat it happily._

_She told me that Tuffnut wanted to know if morphine is like being on weed since I'm acting pretty calm all the time, I shrug because I've never been high on anything before. Maybe?_

_I fall asleep at some point, leaning against Astrid, and when I wake up she was gone, my food was still on my little hospital table and the TV was playing a rerun of friends but I didn't pay much attention. I laid in bed until the sun started coming up again, and the room turned orange like it was on fire and the nurses and doctors were coming back to work._

_I pretended to be asleep when a nurse poked her head through my door because I didn't feel like explaining how I was feeling, the medication I was on was working fine. When she left I turned onto my side as best I could and reached out for my phone. I had a few texts, one from Astrid explaining when she left. One from my dad telling me he was coming to see me later on. And Tuffnut texted me too, asking me if I could still feel my foot even though it was gone, and if I was going to get a robot foot now._

_I replied with numb fingers before I left my phone fall by my side and sighed, turning back to the TV, and watched trashy sitcoms until the nurses came to give me my breakfast._

_Got to love that slimy oatmeal._

_**It's a Thursday so that means it's the weekend! I get to finish school early today and I think I'm finally getting back into my other stories so hopefully more updates ^^ (hopefully)**_

_**Thank you to **__**midnightsky0612**__**, Guest and One bright light!**_

_**~LMDR**_


	4. June 12th

_**June **__**12**__**th**__**,**_

_Dad had told me that Toothless had gotten a bit burnt up in the fire, and had started to chew off what was left of his fur. The vet had said he was in distress and he had to wear a cone until his burns started to heal. I felt bad for Toothless but luckily Astrid had offered to look after him while my dad worked, so at least I knew he was getting the fuss he deserved._

_I hadn't seen him after the fire, only a few pictures sent from Astrid kept me updated, but today Astrid surprised me by sneaking him in. I was so grateful to see him after a night of tossing and turning, leg burning up._

_It was during lunch and I was playing around with my alphabet soup when Astrid suddenly burst in and slammed the door, looking gleeful and wearing an over-sized thick sweater. The moment the door was shut Astrid reached under her sweater and pulled out Toothless._

_The poor cat had a little pathetic cone around his bald, scabby neck and he was flailing in Astrid's hands, hissing. Astrid tossed him onto my bed and started complaining about all the scratches she was bound to have but I was too excited to see Toothless._

_I reached forward and grabbed hold of him, pulling him to my chest and cuddled him. He practically melted into a purring puddle against my chest, and I knew how he felt._

_Astrid sat in the chair by the door and kept an eye out for my doctor while Toothless and I caught up in some much needed cuddling. Astrid mentioned something about Toothless being a 'whiny bitch' and needed to come see me before he jumped out of my window but I was too distract because Toothless was trying to rub his face against mine, but the cone kept smacking me._

_It was nice laying in bed with Toothless, I had almost forgot how comforting his purrs was when he was curled up on your shoulder, and I almost fell asleep as I stroked Toothless' back but Astrid started talking about Snotlout, Fishlegs and the Twins; Fishlegs' parent surprised him with a 2 weeks long trip to his grandparents, Snotlout's dad was taking him on a 'manly' camping trip for a while and the Twins had left on a road trip and wouldn't be back for a month. I asked Astrid if she had any plans and apparently she was going to some sort of sports camp. I was pretty happy for her because that sounded like her sort of thing, but she looked sad, and told me she tried to cancel so she could be here with me but they won't refund._

_I told her I was perfectly happy where I was and that she should be happy to go, but she didn't look too sure. Astrid left an hour later with Toothless when a nurse came in, to busy rattling about with tubes of pills to notice Astrid's frantic reach for Toothless. She yanked him away, giving me an apologetic smile before ducking out of the room._

_I chocked down the numerous bitter pills I had to take daily, before the nurse settled my bed back flat, instructing me to sleep. When he left I flicked on the TV and watched trashy sitcoms until dinner._

**I ordered a pizza 3 hours again and it's still not here smh**

**Thank you midnightsky0612 and One Bright Light**

**~LMDR**


	5. June 13th

_**13**__**th**__** June,**_

_I had my first meeting with my physical therapist and I was quite nervous, but also a little excited to be able to get back on my feet and get at out bed, even if I wasn't necessary on my _own _two feet. Besides, I wasn't going to be doing any actual physical stuff since my stitches were still healing, but I was still going to get a leg! That's something? _

_I was no longer excited as one of the nurses wheeled me across the hospital to my therapist's office, and this was because of all the stares I received. I didn't think I would get that much attention, I never did before the accident, but I supposed that was just wishful, or foolish, thinking. I couldn't help but imagine what I looked like; a malnourished shrimp of a boy, pale and scared with a missing limp. I wanted to go back to him room and hide in shame._

_My physical therapist however, was pretty nice. His name was Eret, as far as I was aware, because he didn't tell me his last name. He was a hulking man with what looked like tribal tattoos on his oversized chin, and wore comfortable work clothes that gave him some professionalism. He jumped from his desk when I was wheeled into his office, and greeted me with a bright smile._

_I felt a little comfortable around him because he didn't ask about my leg, or not right away at least, but instead asked me about school, and my hobbies and friends. It was nice talking about things besides my leg, because when I talked about it all I could think of was the throbbing ache that left me gasping and shaking. We eventually started talking about it and the prosthetic I was going to have. He said that all the cool kids had them, and I quickly learned that he was a terrible jokester._

_He told me to roll up my sweatpants, and when I did he kneeled down in front of me and began to poke at my skin and eye my scars of what remand of my bony stump. After a few tense and uneasy moments he stood up grinning. Apparently I was healing quickly, and would be able to get measured now. I didn't feel comfortable with him focusing on my stump, but I bite my tongue and I nodded anyways and looked out his office window as he worked._

_Outside there was an ice cream trucked across the street, children crowded around it as parents brought them tricks. I never realized there was a little park across the street, and felt disappointed with the fact my window only gave me a stunning view of a parking lot. It was odd though, seeing the world like this. My room was so white and lack so much colour that the bright greens of the trees and blues of the sky made me squint. I didn't realize I was being wheeled back to my room until Eret patted my shoulder and said I'll be okay._

**I'm going to a party today which means social interaction wish me look ah**

_**Huge amount of love to **_**midnightsky0612, One Bright Light and Frostystuffs!**

_**~LMDR**_


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